Who went to the SUN first..? Sri Lankans

Toilet Paper

A Sri Lankan goes to a Woolworth’s grocery store in Australia . He finds cat food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of cat food and goes to check out. The Manager gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy might not have a cat and will probably feed cat food to his kids. He asks the Sri Lankan to show him his cat before he could let him have cat food. The Sri Lankan goes home and returns with a cat and gets to buy the cat food. Next week the Sri Lankan finds dog food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of dog food and goes to check out.  The Manager again gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy may have a cat but he cannot have a dog and he will probably feed dog-food to his kids. He asks the Sri Lankan to bring and show him the dog before he can let him have dog food. The Sri Lankan goes home and returns with a dog. He gets to buy the dog food. The following week the Sri Lankan comes to Woolworth’s with a bag. He asks the manager to put his hand in the bag. The Manager puts his hand in the bag, feels some thing slimy and immediately pulls it out. He shouts at the Sri Lankan, "What the hell! This is shit, you idiot!" The Sri Lankan calmly replies, "Yes, now may I buy some toilet paper?" The moral of the story is: Mess with other Nationalities but Never mess with Sri Lankan.

YES, YES & YES - HAHA

Hillock

Wonderful English from Around the World

In a Bangkok Temple :
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
Doctor's office, Rome :
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Dry cleaners, Bangkok :
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.
In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
On the main road to Mombasa , leaving Nairobi :TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.
In a City restaurant:OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

In a Cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS, FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES ..
Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant:OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
In a Tokyo Bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
Hotel, Yugoslavia:THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE, IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel, across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY.
A sign posted in Germany 's Black Forest :
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Hotel, Zurich :
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand :WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen :WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
A Laundry in Rome :
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

 

Seen in an Abu Dhabi Souk shop window :

IF THE FRONT IS CLOSED PLEASE ENTER THROUGH MY BACKSIDE…

Just for laughs

"Just for laughs...!"

1. Losing all your friends Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his friend and kills him. Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends." 2. Brother wanted A small boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother".... Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"..... . 3. Meaning of WIFE Husband asks, "Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means 'Without Information Fighting Every time'!" Wife replies, "No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!" 4. Importance of a period Teacher: "Do you know the importance of a period?" Kid: "Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away." 5. Confident vs. confidential A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident and confidential? " Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential! " 6. Anger management? Husband: "When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?" Wife: "I clean the toilet." Husband: "How does that help?" Wife: "I use your toothbrush."

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Pareesama

Panuwanta Hoda Wade

My Weight Hundred and Forty

Dina Ganana

Awashya widiha

Ganudenuwa

Dada Gaseema